Thursday, April 2, 2015

BEST BATMAN FILMS IN ORDER

BEST BATMAN FILMS IN ORDER



*Note: I only chose movies about Batman that got a full theatrical release. So no crappy animated Batman movies will be featured.

*Side note: Under the Red Hood is not that good people.


1. BATMAN MASK OF THE PHANTASM (1993)

Without a question. This animated masterpiece is by far the best Batman. Batman is working alone, flashbacks to his past, emotional core, a very tantalizing love arc, greatest score ever written for a Batman film (Shirley Walker), And a commanding performance from Mark Hamill as the Joker.

I think the greatest thing about this movie is the use of the Joker. He's not even in the whole movie!! He comes in half way through! The film takes an amazing turn when he's introduced. He's literally working by himself. No henchman, no Harley Quinn, shows how intelligent he really is by figuring out who the Phantasm is even before Batman.. And is apart of one of the greatest Batman climax's/endings in Batman cinema history!!!

2. BATMAN RETURNS (1992)

Dark, twisted, sexual. This movie has it all. Batman at his most gothic. The movie is pretty much a dark comedy. But when its at its best when it is in its bitterly dark scenes. Penguin being thrown away by his parents. The Penguin wanting to drown all the first new born babies of Gotham. It's cartoony at times. But I think that's just Tim Burton reassuring us all that it's source material is a silly comic book. Pretty great movie. DANNY DEVITO AND MICHELLE PHIEFER have terrific performances. Underrated is a understatement. The best Batman films are only as good as the villians it has in them. The Penguin and Catwoman are pretty amazing villians. The film can really do away with that Max Shreck character doing a terrible Christopher Walkin impression. Terrific score from Danny Elfman. He substitutes the layer of heroism he dabbed on in the original Batman and replaces it with a gothic twist. Fantastic.

3. THE DARK KNIGHT (2008)

Everyone knows how great this movie is. So I'm not going to talk about that stuff. Yes Heath Ledger has a legendary performance. Yes the movie is probably the most realistic Batman film to date. Yes the themes of the film as a whole are great and thought provoking. I'm going to make a case as why this movie should not be number 1. 

As is the problem in most newer Christopher Nolan movies. The casting from the supporting cast is terrible. Aside from the core characters every side character is like if they graduated from a bad acting academy. The mobsters in the room that one guy doing a weird Russian accent, angry black mobster man, that snobby crime boss played by Julia Roberts brother. It's almost like Nolan gets so caught up in the thought provoking themes that he forgets that the asian bank accountant is a TERRIBLE actor. "ONE BIG POT" shut the fuck up. He even makes a legendary actor like William Fichtner look corny and cheesy. Why in the world did that bank employee have a gun?? Why was he so good at it?? ugh. I hate the beginning specifically because it looks so hoaky. There are some pretty big plot holes. But compared to other recent Nolan films they are not nearly as noticeable. As great of a movie this is. There are some pretty big cinema errors that people tend to ignore.... but I mean fuck that scene when Joker is yelling "HIT ME" while batman is riding his motorcycle is bad ass.

4. BATMAN (1989)

Great film. Great casting. Great introduction of the dark and grim Batman we all know and love. You have to understand this movie was the corner stone for every other great superhero movie ever. This Batman came at a time when all people knew when they thought about the character was 1970's Batman. Which is pretty incredible. The film has not aged to well. It could have it had a bigger budget at the time. Everyone likes to talk about Jack Nicholson's joker. Which I admit is probably one of greatest over the top performances ever. But the subtle complexity Michael Keaton gives to Batman is really pretty inspiring. Especially considering that most fans did not want Keaton playing Batman at all. It's a flawed movie. For as dark as it is it can get campy. But this film is a historical milestone for superhero flicks everywhere. One can only imagine what Tim Burton would have done with a third film to finish out his trilogy with Keaton.

5. BATMAN FOREVER/BATMAN BEGINS (TIE) (1995) (2005)

Can't decide on the two so it's a tie. Let me say this to begin. Batman Forever is not as bad as people say it is. And Batman Begins is not as good as people say it is. I will admit the first half of Batman Begins is cinema gold. Exposition is fantastic. It does what other batman films could not. Make a definite case that Batman is just as complex and layered character as any of his most notable villians. I am captivated by the first half. It's pretty amazingly executed. The second half is when it gets bad for me. I don't care about the villians. I don't care about Chicago disguised as Gotham City. The acting from the side characters arn't to bad compared to Dark Knight or god forbid Dark Knight Rises. But it's still there. Pretty cool Batmobile  chase scene. But again everything feels forced. Like when Scarecrow shows up for like 3 seconds only to get his face tazered. Like fuck what was the point of that character at all??? And where did he get that horse?? Ras A Ghul is the main villian. Which kinda tells you where the film is at villain wise. Sure he's cool on paper. But I don't care about that guy. Most people don't and most people were just like me. They don't care.

Now Batman Forever is a not a good movie but it's not bad either. The whole Batman franchise takes a pretty ridiculous tone shift. Gotham city is not the 1950's anymore. It's a punk rock futuristic city. They abandon the music that worked well like Danny Elfman's score. And replaced it with a best of 1990's soundtrack. Every villian in the movie is just ripping off Jack Nicholson's joker. But those are its flaws. The movie is still pretty surprisingly dark. It goes deeper into Bruce Wayne's demons. Nicole Kidman is the hottest love interest yet. Everything looks sleeker the special effects are pretty great in this film. Chris O Donnell is not a bad Robin. They really do his character justice. Everything in this movie is kinda just fun. It's playful and dark when it needs to be. Pretty cool fight scenes cool car chase scene. Yeah you know what not that bad. 

Tuesday, March 31, 2015

The 7 Deadly Sins of Nicky Moon (or Nicholas Munoz's biggest faults as a person)

The 7 Deadly Sins of NICKY MOON

(or Nicholas Munoz's biggest faults as a person)



The biggest faults I am aware of are probably what most people's faults are. Only I'm brilliant and that's why I am aware of it (vanity, ill get into that later). Lately I have been pretty upset with myself on how I conduct myself at open mics or while I perform. So after some pretty intense introspection I have decided to come up with... you guessed it. A list analyzing me from the basic primitive principles I have based my personality on. So without further-adu I give you my 7 deadly sins.

- VANITY: Ooooo calling myself vain gives me artistic appeal validity.... (you know because of the INTENSE introspection).... you see what I mean? Not only do I think I'm brilliant but I believe I can recognize brilliant people. I can SEE intelligence and creativity SPROUTING out of the minds of my colleagues.... (LIKE IN LIGHTS AND SHIT).... This constant spurting of irrational thoughts can only be accounted for INSANE VANITY. Yes I am vain. I am very vain. A lot more vain than you are!!! I marvel at my brilliance time and time again. I also look at myself in the mirror a lot. Like i think im just a REALLY good looking guy at times. I have a lot going for me I'm smart, good looking, public speaker...... wow reading all of this makes me sick to my stomach MOVING ON!!!!!!!! (it really doesn't)

- OVER THINKING: I over think everything. Like why the fuck am I making this list??? To prove my self worth?? To overcome the flaws within myself??? to just marvel at myself???? idk .... i just don't know bro. Sometimes my over thinking will accumulate into just NOT THINKING at all.... like now.................. (Brett Favre had a pretty amazing fucking year in 2009. 40 years old??? Like what the fuck??? 33 tds 7 ints 4,000 yards???? jesus.... like fuck).......... see now is that a joke about not thinking is really just over thinking into a insane level where we cant even comprehend what will eek out of our SUBCONSCIOUS??? (mine is Brett Favre) OR  just a joke about how thinking about Brett Favre is just NOT thinking all together.... but you get it I over think.... MOVING ON!!!!!

- OVER INDULGENCE: I really like food... nuff said. I LOVE food. I have had dreams where I just sit down at a table no people no entertainment and JUST ATE STEAKS!!! Like man fuck. Man fuck this broad she's been dead for a long ass time..... WE AINTS GOT TIME FOR FORePLAY!!!!!! Idk and like I even indulge in like weed and alcohol too much. I don't do them all the time. But when I do I really indulge in them. I like my highs to be REALLY HIGH (referring to my endorphins) but it also makes the lows way to much. I need to learn to moderate.... or idk.

laziness sometimes i just don't feel like putting in all the effort i can into something

- MY GENERAL OPINION ABOUT EVERYTHING: Why do i always have to play devil's advocate?? Like why do I love to engage in conversations?? I like contrasting ideas with people because I like the conflict. Why?? Why can't i just be a normal person??? I don't even KNOW what my opinions are the only opinion I KNOW is yours so that I can say the opposite of whatever you think you know. So wow in reality everyone probably has a different view of me..... EXCEPT comics. Comics see me who i really am. WHAT I WOULD GIVE TO KNOW WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT ME!!!! Cause like I really don... I just.... idk..... I mean I have some idea. But even that is too much to handle. Why do I want to be hated??? I love laughing. I think it's all because i think it's funny. WHAT KIND OF SICK TWISTED PERSON AM I????????(vanity again i didn't want to rank my faults but damn vanity is like numero uno.)

- PRIORITIZING SEX: this is actually something I really am ashamed about. Like I don't think you should prioritize sex at all in fact. People should just BE people. Sex will happen and when it does its great. But you shouldn't devote your life to it. It makes you think negatively about women and thats bad. Just be happy with who you are and enjoy the million other things life has to offer you!!!! (i had to take a break from writing that too masturbate)

- IM STUPID: I over think and obsess over myself a lot because I'm ultimately unhappy with myself. I don't think I'm smart which is why I want people to think im smart. When in reality I'm really just a slow learner. maybe Idk... i remember elementary teachers having to SLOOOOOWLY teach me things just because i didn't GRASP anything!!! i was thinking about batman and superheroes and stuff..... For me to think this way at all is just stupid. And I'm over analyzing it so I can rationalize the decisions I'm making as the correct decisions. I'm a TALENTLESS HACK!!!!


and this is why I am ALBUQUERQUE'S MOST DEPRAVED COMEDIAN

NICKY MOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!!!!

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